Focussing on myself and my “me-time” is something I’ve been working on for ages but haven’t really managed to get right. So last week, after the most severe anxiety attack I have ever experienced, I had a bit of a wake up call and spent the weekend thinking about a few changes I am going to make going forward.
Bullet journalling is something I have wanted to start for ages! I have a board on Pinterest that I regularly post ideas to, but have never really sat down properly and started my journal. I bought a new book on Bullet Journalling a few weeks ago as well as a Moleskin book with dotted pages and the one thing that stopped me from starting my journal was the fear that my pages wouldn’t look as perfect as the ones I had been saving on my Pinterest board. Silly right? Well, being too hard on myself and constantly striving for perfection is one of the things that I’ve been struggling with for the last few months, and it’s something I am working very hard on changing.
So, on the 2nd of April (I didn’t get it right on the first of the month, but that’s okay), I sat down quietly at my desk, popped on some Will & Grace and started. It took me a little while to decide what I wanted to begin with and then I slowly took my pen and started measuring dots, drawing lines and doodling. I can’t explain to you the happiness I felt by being creative again. Don’t get my wrong, I am creative in my job daily, but being creative in my own quiet little space is something I haven’t done in ages! As I worked on the first page it’s like I opened a floodgate of happy and inspired emotions and I had the best time colouring in doodles and then mapping out the next spread.
I haven’t decided on the layout for the full bullet journal yet, nor have I worked out the sections per week or month, and by taking this approach I am teaching myself that I don’t need to have everything fully planned and mapped out every second of the day. I’m going to instead take it day by day and see how I feel.
One thing I do want to track every month is my moods. As someone who struggles with depression and anxiety I want to see how my days start, and how they end. Already in the last two days of making small changes to my life I have seen a difference. I am trying to be more positive and calmer instead of stressed about everything, and am making an effort every day to do meal prep so that I eat. This is something I struggle with majorly when I am stressed because I forget to eat and when I realise I’m hungry it’s too late and I feel ill or crash.
Part of helping myself feel less stressed is getting to the gym again too, so I am tracking my exercise routine, and the classes I am attending. At the end of the month I will review whether these classes helped change my moods during the day. Being at Pound last night already helped me sleep better. So much so that when I checked my Fitbit this morning it says I didn’t move at all in my sleep for a good 5 hours!
Spending time on my bullet journal has really helped me feel better over the last two days. Instead of working on it tonight I switched out this time to write this post (and watch another episode of Will & Grace). It’s definitely a self-care activity that I want to keep in my routine, even when I start travelling again.